don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
