what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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