wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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