my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
