i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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