He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
