I CAN MOONWALK!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
