How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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