think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
