I love black thongs
Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
