If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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