come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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