I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
