whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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