Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
