Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
