Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
