I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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