i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
