I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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