I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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