He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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