I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
