you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
