he wants to bone in the snuggie
that's an acceptable place to lick
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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