he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize