Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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