I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
