Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
