Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
