forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
