That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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