finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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