I hope mine doesn't look like that
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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