Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
