he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
