when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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