she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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