after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
