no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
