I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I want to have your abortion
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
