ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
