Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Text me some of your sweat
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
