Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
