I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
