dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
