so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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