Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
