I hate all girls vehemently.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There r osticjed everywhere
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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