i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
