They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
